a message for myself

 you can not effect the truth you can turn the facts wich make the truth seem the opposite way you can use the truth for wrong things that lead to the ilusion you can use truth to spread fear but the truth itself is undestructeble by any ilusive lies so when you are onest you are unbreakeble  becose a onest man can not be conned and wil never fall for any lie becose a onest man has his self as power  and thats the only thing anyone needs to be unbreakeble becose the self is god and another formula of the con in the game of con is the best lies always start with the truth or even better sayed every lie starts with the truth what this means is that any person would fal for every ly if the truth is that he turned against his self at the beginning of that lie becose he would never fall for it with the self on his side  becose he would have god himself on his side so the best lies always only succeed in the game of con if the person would turn against his self and believes in the lies of his ego the biggest lie of the ego and also biggest formula of succes is based on self gain when someone has the intensions to become better of anything by self interest he actualy turns against his treu self and wil always fal for the lie when someone acts for the interest of the self or the global mas before his own he has the self as his power and wil never fal for any lie the biggest truth about the biggest power always is the most simple thing beying onest towards your self this doesnt mean you are turning against yourself when you tel someone else something that isnt treu this simply means that you are onest towards yourself and thus god in the choises you make in your pad and even when the world says you are doing wrong you proove to yourself that you are right becose you have the self at your side wich is god  every human has that same self in him that normaly only observes the deeds from the subconsious side of his mind and only advises or helps if one chooses that becose it respects the free wil of the person but every soul wil come to the point that it be confronted by that self that let that soul choose in free wil every choise he made but that soul knows that the ego lets him choose the wrong choises and that part of his self is aware that his deeds were wrong becose he knew he refused the help and advise of his treu self becose it would face him with his doing wrong and making the wrong choises  becose that is what a self does when you accept him as guide it keeps telling you the truth in doing wrong until the point you can not live with yourself anymore in ignoring it so eventualy make a change in your life in your doings ofcourse do souls that fall for the lies of the ego never accept their selves in guide to spiritual evolution becose its easyer to ignore the truth without that guide and therefor they listen to their ego with the believe they wil free theirselves from suffering some day becose they suffer from the feeling of losing the connection with god or the self becose that is what a soul needs for enlightment but how can you restore that connection if you refuse him in your life to accept him would restore their needs for the expirience of enlightment and reaching of al the posseble ingriedients to be fullfilled in every posseble way but also create the worst suffering in feeling of guild and expirience the pain of your deeds that others feel becose of your doing wrong that realy would only change if you change your deeds and not surrender to ignorence to you see the dilemma for the soul that is controlled by fear by his ego becose it chooses to turn against his self wich is god as long as he listens to the lies of his ego he wil refuse to see that connection is always there and never was lost he only choosed to refuse it becose it would make him face his fears and confront him with truth so the soul wil keep searching for that connection life after life death after death until he accepts his treu self an thus god in his life to reach infinity simply becose of the knoledge of his self and treu beying as god that never dies and never gets born it is aware of the ilusion of his lower self or ego becose of the power he posess as self or god in all god exist in every living beying and lets every living beying live in freedom by giving it free wil only animals are blessed with the level of consiousness becose they are not troubled by a ego that controls with fear they act on their wil and instincts wich realy is the same as living in free wil with the power of god that controls them with fear they choose totaly free every action but have instincts that guide them the best way in chance of survival so their instinct is their power and gods gift while humans are not worth anything more than animals but do have a much more difficult task they must accept the truth with the blessing with a consiousness that gives the abilety to have deeper insight as their selves as beying but also aware of fear and joy and life and death becose their consiousness is their blessing that gives them that abilety and the choise of free wil makes them able to become the treu power and godly beyings that are god in his self image as treu devine beyings but free wil with the consiousness that doesnt accept god as guide is the victem of the ego wich makes it suffer by the choise he makes in doing wrong and refusing god or the self in his life becose it would make him face his fears wich could lead to change and freedom and infinity becose he wil suffer as long as he lives and when it dies be confronted by that god in his deeds where it refused him in his life and therefor expirience another birth with the same chance of reaching infinity and freedom of sufference by the consiousness that is aware of the connection with and as god a treu enlighted soul is god becose it is the consiousness of god in its life goal but would never teach or learn others that he is that simply becose the other is god to maybe not as awakend mind but stil as a part of gods that has the task of learning our consiousness is indeed the humans greatest gift and biggest power becose it gives them the abilety to operate as gods brain in the higher reality  therefor give god the abilety to expirience the joy of his creation becose the self or subconsious mind is the creator of al but his power is beyond awareness so everything that realy is the most perfect advanced creation is build by subconsious powers that a consiousness at the highest posseble level could never reach becose its beyond limetation a enlighted perfect define consiousness realy doesnt have to be smart or have the most far going mental abiletys if it expiriences the joy with the combination of his self as art or organ as god it has reached the highest level in the lifeerpose it has in the higher reality in the meaning of their lives or lifeperpose and also become infinite without death or birth by their awareness of their self and the ilusion of their ego or ignorence or individuality as seperated soul that is the enlightment and reaching of infinity becose that is the treu place of the place they have in evolution in the fulfilling of their souls lifeperpose a enlighted soul has reached that and knows no matter if even humanity gets extinct by self destruction the evolution would not change the meaning of the perpose their souls have in that evolution they maybe be a totaly different form of life but stil have the same task and stil have the same abiletys in that bigger picture becose that is the top end higest level of evolution that is god himself complete as full developt beying and treu creator in highest form of perfection simply by the power of evolution combined with the proces of living and learning their wil always be things to learn and reach improovement of life by the law of evolution even after the perfection of the cosmos as living beying or god becose he is perfect and his creation is also perfect just by al imperfections in it he made us imperfect so we would have the abilety to learn from our mistakes and become better beyings and he indeed made the human as self image becose the humans would be the end of evolution where they would matured up and see every live has the same valeu and nothing is higher than the other the only thing that humans [if humans still are in life to fullfill that higer perpose in their lifeperpose]] then can add to themselves that in that total proces of creation they had the most diffectult task becose they needed to work at the level of the consiousness in the beying of god and reach the awareness of the treu bigger beying they realy were while at the same time defeat their own ignorence wich turned their powers of the devine beying as god against theirself by seeying the treu valeu of everything that they saw as lower or smaller life  i believe that god is realy that beying of love and perfection without anger or hate and even without need of hope simply becose he believes in every life and loves every life for it i believe that a soul wil suffer if it does wrong and bad bad i dont believe thats becose of punishment of god i believe thats becose he refuse to accept god and therefor needs another life to have the same chance to reach that fullfilling of its life perpose and god does not play games and therefor could never lead to any regret when at the end is measured was this pain and hel al worth the entire creation becose i realy doubted in my pad if that would be the dilemma for me at the end this suffering of eons of humanity would not be worth the entire creation and souls would regret beying part of it  but when i only look at my own suffering wich i may realy say is at the same level of victems of war and people in thirth world countrys that lead from hunger and the worst suffering of every posseble ways in suffering beying a soul that awakens and reach awareness of the deeds wich are killing his highest form of self and that what he loves most of al but not have reached enough power to stop or change his deeds  i can realy say that is the worst suffering and biggest hel anyone can ever expirience and i know for sure that there are souls on death row with a consiousness that would realy back that up and know what i mean with that i would rather expirience the torture of mindcontrol on the level of gamma in state of mind again that even reached eptilectic shock in the boddy at the most worst level of paranoia in a mind of madness combined with the sick hallicination of entetys next to your bed laughing until my parents walked in and shock of seeying me expirience it but respond in anger blaming me for everything becose it al was my fould by my mind that lost grip of reality while now when i look back with a awakend mind and seeying the truth in their judgements as wel as the truth in the reality i was in i simply can say i am aware how sick and deep the realitys of trauma based mind control can get even when victems are not in direct contact with a programmer simply by beeying vanoureble by programming that takes place in the scenes around it from the simpelest levels of movies to the most advanced formes in fnords or subliemial messages in every posseble way even in methaphors in religions and even beside the truth that that actualy takes place for victems that are vanoureble for it now stil be aware in the truth of the judgements of my family that it was al my fould and i was living in my own world and needed to get real about reality becose i was wrong and the illuminati where innocent leaders that simply tried to do their work beying the leader with the best intensions  and i must say that reality of mind control was not so worse suffering as that what i explaned before but i do find it the most posseble wonder that in that hel only guided by the reptilian part of me who back then indeed was the most negative influence i could ever have becose it could realy drive me so far in anger and hate that i totaly became at the level of a timemebomb but even in that hel and so lost a entity came that realy could reach it that i forgave the illuminati for their deeds and even feeling sorry for them becose i realised they were more blinded then the blinds they control and also see that even they are not to be blamed and suffer as much as the victems of the hel they couse only on the spiritual level not at the fisicle and even today while beying aware of all the things going in our reality like mass depopulation and waterfluoridation and gmo and destruction and polution while thats unnessesary and victimising innocent victems and the most and worst thing i myself could realy not stand tha selfish actions by investing all energy in the goal of reaching imortalety simply becose i cant stand that no body even has a smal vision what a egoistic behaviour in the blind minds would couse in reality when poeple succeed in those goals first it is only reacheble for the few that can afford it so the rich and controlers and most blind on earth then for the ones that are usefull in their tasks and finaly this would result in a world that chooses for oldage and looses the jyouth becose there can not be births where old age doesnt expirience death thats a law and simple fact even a child can realise and stil all humans see it as a good thing to invest energy and research in instead of salving the treu problems in the world that couses all suffering sometimes i say to people you must judge only towards your own actions not about the actions of others becose if you have a moral sense about doing good and wrong you only have to proove towards yourself that you do good even when the world says you do wrong becose with the self at your side you have the vote of every self in everyone that has lost that self in his actions or awareness but that self exists in all so only your self as treu power is enough to have the same vote of every self as individual and self as global mind therefor when you are onest you could realy change the world with that power even when the world says your wrong  simply becose only one mind is enough to awaken a world and therefor to bring change to all destructiong and defeating the ignorence in every souls mind and that also wil be the outcome nothing can change that there are only two posseble ways that lead to that destination [wich is the freedom of the soul of humanity] one is by change and awakening of souls two is by selfdestruction and extinction of humanity both lead to the same destany only with awakening the human wil become the consiousness of god in higher realitys and in the second a new lifeform no matter wich shape or form wil fullfil that task in a new cycle  of evolution me personly hope and believe in humanity but also am worried becose of the challenge they would have to face to realy free themselves of ignorense becose i realy know how imposeble it is to realy make them act in the way that couses them to change i know that i reached that change for myself only becose of my sufference and feeling of pain and believing that only the tears coulld help me and by my total loose of grip of reality realy choose only in pain and suffering cose i believed that was the solution now i realized that it indeed was a solution but not in bringing change to the world but freeing me of beying part of its destruction and people could always have their own opinion of my choises and judge me to be a parasite that is to lazy to work but they can never change the truth i have never lived of any cent of their backs and never ever stand in the way of change and even worked 24/7 without selfprofit for it and never be a parasite becose even when i have a income that suports me from food and drink i have worked my entire past life for that income by paying loads of money to insurance agencys that only get rich by the money they collect for people that never need use of it and the taxes the people pay are not ever going to the ones that have a …

the answer for me

i like to consider myself as a metaphisicien becose a phisicien investegates the sience to try to understand what makes up reality while a metaphisicien investigates the essense of al that is to get a idea of what makes up reality so a phisicien studies the subatomic world to shape its awareness while a metaphisicien studies the essence of the atomic world to increese its awareness the essence of the attomic world is the consiousness so a metaphisicien investigates the consiousness to become aware of what makes up reality and realizes that reality gets shaped by the believe of the people that live in it and reality isnt actualy a global but individual thing that is different for every soul inside of the reality the believe is the essence of all existense and shapes the reality of a person therefor sience does not contain more truth then religion as a matter of fact sience is another form of religion becose it is based on theorys that arent proven facts so sience is just another religion and contains even as much truth as it contains ilusion about the truth in reality the study of the essense of reality can give a more clear answer and that is the study of the consiousness becose the consiousness of someone shapes someones reality  to investigate the consiousness on a deeper level we first need to get a better understanding of what the cconsiousness realy is and where it can be found in all life i believe that actualy every living organism contains at least a bit of consiousness becose it at liest has a minimun level of awareness becose it expiriences reality but the consiousness that took a more advanced shape started to develop in the evolution at the moment of the forming of reptiliens therefor i believe the consiousness is to be found in the brainstem  where  the nervesystem of al beyings also can be found this primitive brain evolved into the high advanced brains of the humans and the early humans increesed the consiousness by gaving it a entire new form to increese the natural shape of awareness wich it already was this was the awareness of self being it became aware that al bodyparts were actualy part of himself and started to become aware of itself as individual beying also language or speech was formed within this consiousness to shape a more advanced form of communication now i believe that all lifeforms are capeble of comunicating with eachother only not so advanced as the humans do becose the communication of humans are demanding much more deeper details than the simple communication of other beyings but to get back on early humans they became aware of their self as individual beying  this was the next fase of the consiousness wich shaped the awareness of the consious mind later in evolution the humans started to develop a awareness of the connection they had and shared with al life this was the awarenes of higher self or the awareness of the subconsious mind that exists in all life and is part of all light both as individual mind in every beying and as universal mind of all light  this was the next fase of the evolution of the consiousness or the awareness of the collective or subconsious mind the answer about what exactly is reality and what forms reality actualy is the consiousness of a individual beying becose his believes about his truth are manifesting the results that let him expiriense his personal believes about what reality realy is therefor reality isnt realy a global picture but a individual picture that is different for every soul and does not contain a global truth only til the level that it is formed by the believes a individual soul has about his reality  becose he wil expirience his believes about reality and thus creates his own reality with his own believes when the believes of that individual soul goes beyond the level of his own lower self and thus sees itself as ilusion by beying aware of its treu self as the cosmos he wil expirience his believes and thus becomes one with his treu self as living entety of the cosmoss itself and get enlighted by the awareness of his treu self and the expirience as consiousness for the cosmos that expiriences his self as living entety that is in my believe the answer that sience can never reach about what reality is and what forms up reality  therefor i believe the metaphisicle studie can only give the treu answers that sience can never give becose those answers lay in the essence of the matter and not in the subatomic particles that form all matter  and again the essense of all matter is consiousness even from the lowest levels of nonconsiousness or subconsiousness  wich is simular to all space or spirit 

my answer

to most people the problem of enlightment 

lays in the question who am i but for me

There is not any problem in salving the question who i am but its not realy to distanciate yourself from the mindbecose even the mind is part of I there is only one thing that actualy isnt part of I and thats the ignorence that tries to keep me. ignoring the truth for the rest al my gifts and weaknesses are part of the treu self that i am i wouldnt be the same self if i would denie any of them as part of my self therefor the past does actualy has a special valeu and i cant realy say its ilusion becose everything in the past happend for a reason and the sufference was ment to happen to form the self who i am in the present to eventualy be able to create my pad in the future so the suffering gave me the lessons to become who i am in the present and also gives me the abilety to totaly thrive in my future and each momentum in the now from this moment so i accept my powers and my weaknesses and the truth that in the end they are both one and the same it is the hart that is the answer to the next question wich ofcourse is what are your weaknesses and powers

It is the spiritual guide that actualy teached me that lesson and i consider it as one of the highest truths 

he once sayed 

"The weakness and powers of a person are actualy one and the same it is the way he embodys it that makes it what they are for him and the best samuray fighter can have the sharpest magical sword but that sword can also be the bait of the best fisherman and the biggest fool with the crazyest thoughts can contain the highest wisdom in a higher reality"that realy became a vision that was a huge part of my treu selve becose it was my hart that always made me vanoureble for everything including the truth of our reality in the world wich brought me a lot of suffering becose of the empathy but eventualy that hart became also the treu answer in every choise that i made to evolve into a better person

therefor even when i know the level of sufference is totaly not accepteble in the reality we live in in the present i stil believe that a minimum level of sufferense wil always be part of reality becose the one needss the other and one cant expierience treu happyness if he doesnt know sorrow to become totaly free of sufference one has to give up the posebilety to expirience joy and totaly be zen and that may free a soul from suffering but in my opinion also takes away the meaning of his life becose i believe we are ment to expirience joy of everything thats created by our higher self wich is the subconsious mind in wich we form the consiousness so to expirience total joyof al his creations is what gives meaning to our lives and therefor i am not at the same level of the buddahs teachings becose i dont believe we should give up the desire but i am at at the same level in the buddahs vision that its useles to please the desires becose that only leads to sufference in my believes the answers can be found in the fullfilment of the right desires and that is always to be found in al natural things in the form of apreciation there his no higher level of joy than to apreciate all small things in life and this never leads to any suffering but it is treu that suffering teaches tto the awareness of a mind wich things have real valeu and wich things are only leading to sufference becose sorrow makes a mind aware and therefor sorrow is needed to reach treu happyness when you can totaly enjoy the rest and piece from silence its becose the tears tought you that lesson and therefor the tears are just as important in love as the expirience of joy you cant have one without the other and its no coinsedence that people cry from both sorrow and joy thats simply becose tears are a expression of love therefor for one to become enlighted he needs to be aware what couses the sufference and also understand the deeper meaning why he needed to suffer so he is able to apreciate the pain [ofcourse always when you look back never in looking forward] but i realy am being onest when i speak now that i apreciate al the pain ive been trough in my past becose i wouldnt be who i am if i would have avoid  al the pain i would have deffenitly turned againt myself and lost contact with it i believe the answer i was searching for to become enlighted was the fulfilment of the right desires and this can only be reached in the form of apreachiation to be thankfull for all things in life is the fullfilment of the right desires and the fulfilling of your lifeperpose that were my personal answers that i found in my path that freed my mind from ignorence